Sunday, November 18, 2007

An Irrational Fixation on Lawn Care

So check this out. The last time I mowed the lawn, I didn’t trim because the line on the weed whacker kept jamming and it was pissing me off. Given the on-set of winter, I really didn’t think it was such a big thing to wait to trim until the next time I mowed since the lawn was growing considerably more slowly in the cooler weather.

Well, apparently I was wrong. It IS a big deal to not trim your lawn, at least if you live in the uptight Southern California suburbs where what REALLY matters is the greenness of the lawn that surrounds your identikit, mass produced home and the after-market wheel set you have on your Cadillac Escalade.

I know this because I came home yesterday to find that my lawn had been trimmed……by my neighbor. You might think that this is not that unusual. After all, neighbors often trim or cut lawn that straddles the property line. But here’s the thing. My property line is separated from my neighbor’s property by a wall. And to make it creepier, my neighbor doesn’t even have a lawn. Not in the front yard, not in the backyard and not on the side yard. So why the hell does he need a trimmer?

I don’t know whether I should be offended or thankful, but the boldness of it kind of takes your breath away. Think about just wandering into your neighbor’s yard without saying anything to them and starting to pull weeds, turn soil or plant flowers. Its just plain weird. But then again, that’s life in the whitebread burbs where an irrational fixation on lawn care is the norm.

Next up: I invite my neighbor over to my house to wash my car.

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